The woman was thin and tall.
She sat in a corner near the entrance, with her zabuton beside her.

I absentmindedly listened to their conversation. The woman seemed to be from a magazine company, and it seemed that she had ordered something from Horiki, like a cut or something, and had come to pick it up. 　I’ll hurry. 　It’s ready. It’s already done. Here it is. 　A telegram came. 　Horiki read it, and his good mood turned sour. 　Damn! 　What’s the matter with you? 　It was a telegram from Flounder. 　Anyway, go home now. It would be nice if I could send you home, but I don’t have time for that now. You look so carefree, even though you ran away from home. 　Where do you live? 　Okubo. 　I answered suddenly. 　Well, then, it’s near our office. 　The woman was twenty-eight years old, born in Koshu. She lived in an apartment in Koenji with her five-year-old daughter. She told me that it had been three years since she had lost her husband. 　You seem to have had a hard life growing up. You are very considerate. I feel sorry for you. 　For the first time, I was living like a man. After Shizuko (that was the name of the female reporter) went to work for a magazine in Shinjuku, I was left alone with myself and Shigeko, a five-year-old girl. Until then, Shigeko had been playing in the apartment manager’s room when her mother was away. But now she had a friendly uncle as a playmate, and she seemed to be in a good mood.

But now she had a friendly uncle as a playmate, and she seemed to be in a good mood. 　For a week or so, I stayed there in a daze. A kite was stuck on an electric wire near the window of the apartment, blown and torn by the dusty spring winds, but still clinging to the wire, nodding its head and doing something about it. Money, I want money. 　…… How much? 　A lot. ……They say, “When money is tight, you’re out of luck. 　That’s ridiculous. That’s just plain old …… Really? 　But you never know. I may have to walk away. 　Which one of us is poorer? And which one of you is going to run away? That’s funny. 　I want to earn my own money and use it to buy alcohol, or even cigarettes. I’m a much better artist than Horiki. 　At a time like this, what naturally comes to my mind is Takeichi’s so-called “ghost” self-portraits, which he painted in junior high school. 　ghosts, self-portraits that I had painted in junior high school. A lost masterpiece. They had been lost during my frequent relocations, but I felt that they were indeed excellent paintings. 　A glass of absinthe left to drink.

A glass of absinthe left to drink. 　I used to secretly describe that feeling of loss as if it would be difficult to atone for it forever. Whenever I talked about painting, that leftover glass of absinthe would flicker in front of my eyes, and I would squirm with impatience, wishing that I could show that painting to this person so that I could make him believe in my artistic talent. 　I don’t know. You are so cute because you joke around with a serious face. 　I’m not joking, I’m telling the truth, I want to show you that picture. 　It’s a cartoon. At the very least, I’m better than Horiki at cartooning. 　The clown’s deceitful words were more seriously believed. 　Yes, that’s true. I was actually impressed, too. I’m always drawing cartoons for Shigeko, and I can’t help but gush over them. Why don’t you give it a try? 　I can ask the editor-in-chief of my company to give it a try. 　The company published a little-known monthly magazine for children. 　When they see …… you, most women can’t wait to do something for you. ……You’re always so frightened, and yet you’re such a comedian. Sometimes she is very depressed by herself, and this makes women’s hearts itch even more. …… 　Even if Shizuko says all kinds of things to her, and even if she is flattered, if she thinks that this is a detestable trait in a man’s eyes, then she is all the better for it.

Even if Shizuko says all kinds of things to her, and even if she is flattered, if she thinks that this is a detestable trait in a man’s eyes, then she is all the better for it. 　He secretly wished and tried to find money rather than a woman so that he could escape from Shizuko and fend for himself, but he was forced to depend on Shizuko more and more. I had to be more and more frightened of Shizuko. 　I had to be more frightened of Shizuko. 　Through Shizuko’s arrangement, a meeting between Hirame, Horiki, and Shizuko was arranged, and I was completely isolated from my hometown. 　Thanks to Shizuko’s efforts, my manga also turned into money, and I used the money to buy alcohol and cigarettes, but I was growing more and more depressed and annoyed. That is exactly what it was. 　Sinking deeper and deeper 　I sank so low that I began to read Shizuko magazine’s monthly manga series 　When I was drawing the adventures of Kinta-san and Ota-san, I was suddenly reminded of my hometown, and I felt so wretched that I couldn’t move my pen, and I even slumped down and burst into tears.

Sinking deeper and deeper 　I sank so low that I began to read Shizuko magazine’s monthly manga series 　When I was drawing the adventures of Kinta-san and Ota-san, I was suddenly reminded of my hometown, and I felt so wretched that I couldn’t move my pen, and I even slumped down and burst into tears. 　At such times, Shigeko was the only person who could offer me some kind of relief. Shigeko, by that time, was calling me “Papa-chan” (father) without any particular meaning. 　She called me “Papa-chan” (father). Papa-chan. Is it true that God gives us everything when we pray? 　I wanted to pray that prayer myself. 　Oh, give me a cold will. Grant me a cold will. 　Let me know the nature of man. Let me know the nature of man; let me know that it is no sin for man to push another away. Give me the mask of wrath. 　Yes, that’s right. He may give you everything, but not your father. I was frightened even of God. I had no faith in God’s love, only in God’s punishment. Faith. I felt as if I was going to the judgment stand only to receive God’s scourging with a nod of the head. He could believe in hell, but he could not believe in the existence of heaven. 　Why not? 　Because I disobeyed my parents.

Why not? 　Because I disobeyed my parents. 　Is that so? 　Everyone says your father is a very good man. 　I know that everyone in this apartment likes me, but I am afraid of them, and the more I fear them, the more they like me, and the more they like me, the more I fear them, and the more they like me, the more I have to stay away from them. It was extremely difficult to explain this unfortunate habit to Shigeko. 　What on earth do you want to beg God for, Shigeko? 　I turned the subject in a casual manner. 　Shigeko wants her real father. 　I was so dizzy and giddy. An enemy. I wondered if I was Shigeko’s enemy, or if Shigeko was my enemy, but at any rate, here was another frightening adult who frightened me, a stranger, a mysterious stranger, a stranger full of secrets. 　I had thought that Shigeko was the only one, but as I thought, this one, too, was a stranger, a mysterious stranger, a stranger full of secrets. 　I had the tail of a bull that would unexpectedly swat flies to death.

I had the tail of a bull that would unexpectedly swat flies to death. From then on, I had to be frightened even of Shigeko. Shigeko! 　Are you there? 　Horiki had started coming to me again. Even though he had made her feel so lonely on the day she had run away from home, she still could not refuse him, and greeted him with a mysterious smile. 　I heard that your cartoons are quite popular. Amateurs have the nerve to be scared shitless, so I can’t compete with them. But don’t let your guard down. Your sketches aren’t the slightest bit good. 　You even act like a master. He even acts like a master. 　I wondered what he would look like if I showed him my drawing of the ghost. 　Don’t say that. There would be a scream of “Gyaku! 　Horiki, finally, looked like he was good at what he was doing. 　Because one day, you’ll get ripped off for your worldly talents alone. 　Talent for worldly affairs. I couldn’t help but laugh at …… myself. To myself, the talent of worldliness! 　But to fear, avoid, and cheat people like myself is to follow the proverb 　But to fear, avoid, and deceive people as I do is the same as adhering to the common saying, “There is no reward for a god who does not touch you,” or the guiding principle of guile and cunning.

To myself, the talent of worldliness! 　But to fear, avoid, and cheat people like myself is to follow the proverb 　But to fear, avoid, and deceive people as I do is the same as adhering to the common saying, “There is no reward for a god who does not touch you,” or the guiding principle of guile and cunning. I think that we humans have no idea who the other person is, and that we see each other in a completely wrong light, but we think we are the best of friends, and when the other person dies, we cry and read words of condolence? 　Horiki, after all, was the one who was there for him when he ran away from home (although he must have reluctantly agreed to do so at Shizuko’s insistence), so he acted as if he was the one who owed him a great debt of gratitude for his rehabilitation or the Iceman under the Moon. He would also visit them late at night in a drunken stupor and stay over, or borrow five yen (it was always five yen) from them. But I guess that’s enough of your womanizing.

But I guess that’s enough of your womanizing. The world will not tolerate it any longer. 　What exactly is the world? Is it the human race? Where does this world really exist? I had always thought of it as a strong, harsh, and scary thing, but when Horiki told me that, I suddenly realized that it is not you, but the world. 　The world is you, isn’t it? 　I didn’t want to offend Horiki, so I retracted it. （I didn’t want to offend him, so I retracted it.) （It’s not the world. You won’t forgive me, will you?) (You don’t forgive me, do you?) (If you do that, you will be punished by the world.) （It’s not the world. It’s you, isn’t it?) (You’re the one, aren’t you? ) （The world will bury you now.) （It’s not the world. It’s you who will be buried, isn’t it?) (It is you who will be buried.) 　Know thyself, thou personal horror, thy monstrosity, thy viciousness, thy old wolverine nature, and thy hag nature! 　Various words came to my mind, but I just wiped the sweat from my face with a handkerchief.

It’s you who will be buried, isn’t it?) (It is you who will be buried.) 　Know thyself, thou personal horror, thy monstrosity, thy viciousness, thy old wolverine nature, and thy hag nature! 　Various words came to my mind, but I just wiped the sweat from my face with a handkerchief. 　Cold sweat, cold sweat! 　I just wiped the sweat from my face with a handkerchief and laughed.