However, since that time, I have come to have the thought that the world is an individual.

Since I began to think that the world is an individual, I have been able to move with my own will to a greater extent than before. To borrow a phrase from Shizuko, I became a little more selfish and less frightened. Or, to borrow Horiki’s words, I have become stingy. Or, to borrow Shigeko’s words, I have become less affectionate toward Shigeko. 　He is quiet, doesn’t laugh, and is a constant companion to Shigeko, day in and day out. 　I was always thinking about Kinta-san’s and Ota-san’s adventures, and also about the obvious sublime adventures of the nonchalant Tousan, and also about the nonchalant monk. 　Nonki Wassho, or nonki Wassho, or nonki Tousan. 　I was also working on a manga series with the incomprehensible and desperate title “Sekkachi Pinchan,” and responding to the orders of various publishers (orders were slowly coming in from other publishers besides Shizuko’s company, but they were all from so-called third-rate publishers that were even more vulgar than Shizuko’s company).

I was also working on a manga series with the incomprehensible and desperate title “Sekkachi Pinchan,” and responding to the orders of various publishers (orders were slowly coming in from other publishers besides Shizuko’s company, but they were all from so-called third-rate publishers that were even more vulgar than Shizuko’s company). I would then take turns going outside when Shizuko came home from work and drinking cheap, strong sake at a food stall or stand bar near Koenji station, and then return to my apartment feeling a bit cheerful. 　The more I look at you, the stranger you look. The nonchalant monk’s face was actually inspired by your sleeping face. 　Even your sleeping face has aged a lot. You look like a 40-year-old man. 　It’s your fault. You sucked me dry. The flow of water and the human body are two different things. What are you so worried about, you little riverside snob? 　Don’t make a fuss, go to sleep. Or would you like to eat? 　They are so calm, they don’t care. 　If I want to drink, I’ll drink.

If I want to drink, I’ll drink. The flow of water and the body of man are two different things. The flow of people and the flow of water and the body of water. 　As I sang, Shizuko would strip me of my clothes and I would fall asleep with my forehead pressed against her chest. The next day, I would do the same thing over and over again, following the same routine as yesterday. As long as I avoided the wild and great joys of the day. And naturally, great sorrows will not come either. The toad (toad) passes through a stone blocking its path. 　When I came across this poem by Guy-Charles Claude, translated by Ueda Satoshi, my face flushed red. 　A toad. （That’s who I am. The world neither forgives nor does not forgive. I am neither buried nor unburied. I am a lesser animal than a dog or a cat. The toad (toad). (It’s just moving slowly). 　My drinking has gradually increased. I was drinking not only in the vicinity of Koenji Station, but also in Shinjuku and Ginza, and even staying out overnight. 　He even went to Shinjuku and Ginza, and stayed out overnight.

He even went to Shinjuku and Ginza, and stayed out overnight. He did not follow convention, pretending to be an unreliable man with his bare hands, kissing people from one side to the other, in other words, he became a wild and vulgar drunkard again, even more so than he had been before his death of love, or even more so than then. 　More than a year had passed since I had come here and laughed at the torn up kite, and in the cherry blossom season, I again sneaked out Shizuko’s obi sash and lintel, went to a pawn shop, made some money, went drinking in Ginza, stayed out two nights in a row, and on the third night, feeling very ill at ease, I unconsciously shuffled my feet and came to Shizuko’s room at her apartment. As I walked up to Shizuko’s room, I heard Shizuko and Shigeko talking from inside. 　Why do you drink alcohol? 　My father doesn’t drink because he likes it. He’s a very nice person, that’s why. …… 　Do nice people drink? 　Not really. …… 　I bet your dad would be surprised.

I bet your dad would be surprised. 　He might not like it. There you go, there you go, out of the box. 　You look like a Sekacchi Pinchang. 　Yeah, I guess so. 　I could hear Shizuko’s low, happy laugh coming from deep inside. 　I opened the door a crack and peeked inside to see that it was a little white rabbit. It was a white hare cub, prancing around the room, and the father and son were chasing after it. （How happy they were! I, a fool, had come between them and now I was going to destroy them both. (Humble happiness, these people. A good father and son. (Happiness. Oh, if God would hear the prayer of a man like me, I would pray just once, just once in my life.) 　I felt like cowering there and praying with my hands in prayer. I gently closed the door, went back to Ginza, and never returned to the apartment again. 　And so, on the second floor of a stand bar near Kyobashi, I was once again lying in the form of a man’s face. 　The world. I had a feeling that I was beginning to get a vague idea of what was going on. It is a struggle between individuals, and it is a struggle of the moment, and it is all right to win on the spot, and humans will never submit to humans, and even slaves will do the sneaky shibboleths of slavery, and that is why humans have no other way to survive and thrive than by relying on the one game of the moment, and by praising what seems to be a great cause. The world’s difficulties are individual difficulties, and the ocean is not the world but the individual. I have learned to behave with more brazenness than in the past, without endless care and concern for this and that, as the occasion demands. 　She abandoned her apartment in Koenji and became the madam of Stand Baa in Kyobashi.

She abandoned her apartment in Koenji and became the madam of Stand Baa in Kyobashi. 　I got separated from her. 　That was all I had to say, and that was enough, in other words, to settle the match, and from that night onward, I violently stayed on the second floor of the apartment. 　The world did not harm me in any way, nor did I make any excuse to the world. 　I did not make any excuse to the world. If the madam was so inclined, it was all right. 　I was like a customer, a husband, a errand boy, a relative, and so on. 　The world was not the least bit suspicious, and the store’s regulars called me Ip-chan, Ip-chan, and treated me with great kindness and allowed me to drink alcohol. 　I gradually became less and less cautious about the world. I began to think that the world was not such a horrible place. In other words, I had always been afraid of whooping cough mold in the spring wind, eye crushing mold in public bathhouses, bald head disease mold in barbershops, scabies insects crawling on the hanging skins of government railway lines, and eggs of tapeworm larvae, dystoma, or something else in sashimi or raw beef and pork. Also, if you walk barefoot, small shards of glass may come out of the soles of your feet and run around inside your body, poking your eyeballs and causing you to go blind. 　It was as if we were being scared by the superstitions of science.

It was as if we were being scared by the superstitions of science. It is true that the hundreds of thousands of molds floating and swarming around are scientifically accurate. 　It would be scientifically accurate. At the same time, if you completely silence its existence, it is nothing more than a scientific ghost that will disappear as soon as it is no longer connected to you in any way. 　I have come to know that it is nothing more than a ghost of science that will disappear as soon as you completely silence its existence. I have come to realize that scientific statistics such as, “If ten million people eat three grains of rice left over in their lunch boxes each day, they have already wasted several bales of rice,” or “If ten million people save one sheet of nashi paper a day, how much pulp will be saved? 　I used to feel as if I was committing a grave sin, troubled by the illusion that I was wasting mountains of rice and mountains of pulp every time I left even a grain of rice uneaten or every time I blew my nose.

I have come to realize that scientific statistics such as, “If ten million people eat three grains of rice left over in their lunch boxes each day, they have already wasted several bales of rice,” or “If ten million people save one sheet of nashi paper a day, how much pulp will be saved? 　I used to feel as if I was committing a grave sin, troubled by the illusion that I was wasting mountains of rice and mountains of pulp every time I left even a grain of rice uneaten or every time I blew my nose. 　The lie of science 　The lie of statistics 　It is a lie of mathematics, a lie that three grains of rice cannot be collected, and even as an applied problem of multiplication and division, it is a very primitive and low-skilled theme, a lie that how many times does a person step off one leg and fall into that hole in the dark toilet without electricity, or how many times does a person step off one leg and fall into that gap between the entrance and exit of the train and the edge of the platform, or how many people in the train can be seen in that gap between the entrance of the train and the edge of the platform, or how many people in the train can be seen in that gap between the entrance and exit of the train? It is as absurd as calculating the probability of how many of the passengers will drop their legs in that hole, or how many of the passengers will drop their legs in that gap between the entrance of the train and the edge of the platform, and it is as possible as it seems, yet we do not hear of a single case of someone being injured because they missed over the toilet hole, and such hypotheses are taught as scientific fact.

The lie of science 　The lie of statistics 　It is a lie of mathematics, a lie that three grains of rice cannot be collected, and even as an applied problem of multiplication and division, it is a very primitive and low-skilled theme, a lie that how many times does a person step off one leg and fall into that hole in the dark toilet without electricity, or how many times does a person step off one leg and fall into that gap between the entrance and exit of the train and the edge of the platform, or how many people in the train can be seen in that gap between the entrance of the train and the edge of the platform, or how many people in the train can be seen in that gap between the entrance and exit of the train? It is as absurd as calculating the probability of how many of the passengers will drop their legs in that hole, or how many of the passengers will drop their legs in that gap between the entrance of the train and the edge of the platform, and it is as possible as it seems, yet we do not hear of a single case of someone being injured because they missed over the toilet hole, and such hypotheses are taught as scientific fact. 　I have come to know the reality of the world little by little, to the extent that I felt like laughing at myself until yesterday, when I was taught such hypotheticals as scientific facts, accepted them as reality, and was terrified of them.